I have always learnt better in the company of those who agree with me - yes, probably a narcissistic tendancy. The matters of the heart seem to intrigue even the most brilliant of minds. It is a subject that has seen the world revolve around it from artwork to scientific study.
Save for the exceptional soulmates, finding love is as difficult as finding Waldo. It is said that hospital wards and airport hallways see more geniune hugs than wedding halls for a reason. There is also a reason volatile items like money take precedence to romantic love and affection.
In a chauvinistic world where the men are required to find soulmates, gender equality is really frustrating the noble chase. Let me explain...
"I know you're afraid of heights....and so im here to help you conquer your fears...." That was always my pick up line when approaching shorter girls in high school - frankly, am of aggressively medium height but who cares? It was a self-coined phrase to set me apart from the mediocre, "My name is Hannington but you can call me honey."
Reminiscing my charismatic aura, a lot seems to have changed as I grow older. I know I speak for the largely distraught male species cognitive of the feministic renaissance when I say that the chivalry, cocky approach has been completely annihilated by the neo-classical woman.
Hitherto, I have not mastered my previous confidence because now, my ego is shattered and replaced with tranquility and lack of fortitude. The orthodox shy woman is long gone along with my girly voice. It is universally acknowledged that women mature faster than men (this has nothing to do with IQ levels) and that is probably why I seem to be biting off more than I can chew. A customary lame man would probably fish in different waters where he can keep up, but as you all can guess, that is not yours truly.
And that is why I have studied the art of keeping up with my "age-mates" who are supposedly more mature than I am - well, maturity should be subjective, but that is a fire I know better than to set off. I can confidently assert to my affirmation of constructing the metaphorical maturity bridge. I have done this by using the customary political strategy during elections.
Firstly, I'm bringing my game back. Not my legendary pick up lines but the confidence I so obliviously possessed. Just like politics, you have to talk a big game. The strictly plutonic "maturity" card only gets guys a front row ticket to the "friend-zone" unless you have the face of an angel and the body of a Greek god. I have neither, and I can confidently confirm that (obviously the previous comments are untrue, and I am simply illustrating confidence and a high self esteem). Boys will be boys, hence stereotypically girls will be girls. And generally, people are gullible creatures whose greed and crave for attention gets them vulnerable. Every girl enjoys the casual flirt as much as the boys enjoy the same. Speaking about unicorns and tranpolines will only get us to the "friendzone." Anyway, what do we expect?
Secondly, I have taken to the bold move of aiming completely out of my league, well, not yet but I shall. Our parliaments are filled with lunatical nutbags with pea-sized brains for legislatures. The tragic fear of rejection seems to stand in the way every time I try to take the leap. However, if you're aiming to be the boyfriend then not taking the leap is equivalent to rejection. Not really, as the latter hurts less....but you get my point.
Thirdly, confidence can only get you so far. Like a politician, you need a shrewd manifesto to get the job done. In this case, I refer to a couple of well laid promises to the girl of your dreams. The onus is on the man to promise the girl heaven even if he may not deliver everything. This is not lying as it is the concept of the dreamer, and girls like dreamers even if they deny it. The over-ambitious man who would do everything just to see the woman smile. Most girls like to feel like Julliet even without the Romeo. If nothing of the above, it is super sweet.
However, my thesis does not cover such nitty gritties as pleasing her friends, outdoing your competition and extravagance. If by the third step, the girl is not yet smitten my friend, that ship is sailed and honestly, priesthood is a vocation as is marriage.
Last but not least, is the mimicking of the under-performance of politicians. Once politicians get into the political seat, all previous A-game strategies are forgotten and life moves on. Prima-facie, this seems like a phrase coined by the devil but it really is not. Once you get the girl, you alienate yourself from the chasers and become a settler. This is the point you become her boyfriend without the chaser mentality - her friend. The former will make her crave for more and ultimately get bored while the latter will give her security and help you keep her. It gives the illusion that you've found what you have been looking for.
Ultimately however, it is either a girl wants you or she does not. Ofcourse, there are the extremely unique exceptions of plutonic love which becomes romantic after my three step programme, but little expectations, little disappointments. I have been told that my thesis is very pragmatic but then again.....
I have never in my life learned anything new from anyone who agreed with me.
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