Finding Mrs. Right

My malleable mind has convinced my lower body parts that finding the perfect woman is all but a dwindling myth. For a perfect woman should only be ble to put up with perfection, not withstand a polarized enigma like yours truly. However, I speak for the lot of us when I assert that we men cannot just settle for any female username on twitter.

1. Long Hair
This is far-fetched and I bet my post is getting sneers and jeers as I go along but every guy should fall in love with long hair because, commitment.

2. Shorter
Notice how subtle i was in highlighting it in the comparative. The rationale behind this is that a family picture album where the man of the house looks like the first born son will not be the first thing you think to give visitors on their arrival because, pity.

3. Unestablished
I will not lie, a deep-pocketed lady appeals to the cradle of our souls but as with temptations, they have to be overcomed. It is divine when you both hit things off with nothing. Men are inherently hunters, and (pardon my apathy, feminists) a more powerful woman only makes us docile, we hate that! My heart weeps for the rich women looking for true love, for without swiss accounts, livelihood degradation and absolute humility, you might as well be a cougar on a teenage online dating site.

4. Spontaneous
There are two reasons I do not cheat on my girlfriend. First, her mystery and spontaneity keeps me intrigued and away from the unknown girls because there is this one I'm yet to know. Secondly, I do not have a girlfriend......but you understand where I'm going with this.

5. From a Parallel Universe
That men are from Mars and women from Venus only goes to show how men should appreciate stark differences between sexes and fish in the deepest of seas. For example, when a man who is a well-known chatterbox befriends a pretty parrot, the relationship becomes nothing but noise pollution. Conversely, sign language makes for a rather dull pairing with all due respect to the disabled.

Notwithstanding, opening the pandora's box that is a girl matching the above criteria may only fuel anguish, stigmatization and suicides because when all is said and done, she may not love you back.....or worse. Ofcourse there is worse! You could turn out to be the best friend that holds her purse while she runs to hug her crush. Tough times brothers, tough times.