There is a new paradigm shift in town. Is it a bird...is it a plane....no its queer-man strotting around town looking like someone who would not augur well with prison raiment. Whether most metrosexual men are actually homosexuals as well is not my place to say. However there are signs that can tell whether the man you have in contemplation is metrosexual or not.
1. Pretty Billy
First, I delve into the classical pretty-boy who spends the better part of his mornings practising the perfect winks and smiles in front of a mirror. They prefer a stylist to a barber and some never cry, not for being macho, but to avoid smudging their mascara. While the closest alpha males come to make up kits is a box of shaving cream and a rare nail cutter, the quintessential metrosexual strolls around with lipgloss in his "man-purse." If you are a man who knows the difference between a pedicure and a manicure, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
First, I delve into the classical pretty-boy who spends the better part of his mornings practising the perfect winks and smiles in front of a mirror. They prefer a stylist to a barber and some never cry, not for being macho, but to avoid smudging their mascara. While the closest alpha males come to make up kits is a box of shaving cream and a rare nail cutter, the quintessential metrosexual strolls around with lipgloss in his "man-purse." If you are a man who knows the difference between a pedicure and a manicure, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
2. Moody Rhoody
The overly sensitive male species is something most of us are familiar with. You know, those guys that blow everything out of proportion and vent out their feelings to any busybody willing to be indulged. Their friends are ever walking on egg-shells with them and even their girlfriends toe the thin line of minor break-ups and everlasting vendetta. This lot will probably stop reading at this point out of spite.
The overly sensitive male species is something most of us are familiar with. You know, those guys that blow everything out of proportion and vent out their feelings to any busybody willing to be indulged. Their friends are ever walking on egg-shells with them and even their girlfriends toe the thin line of minor break-ups and everlasting vendetta. This lot will probably stop reading at this point out of spite.
3. Wimpy Willy
We cannot all be brave knights with feisty eyes, fast feet and fists that speak but being a complete and total wuss is no excuse for lacking the aforementioned attributes. Maybe its the fear of being maimed or they just lack the testesterone that comes with male parts. Either way, (precious wimps) it does not hurt to wear the pants in your relationship from time to time....comprendéz?
We cannot all be brave knights with feisty eyes, fast feet and fists that speak but being a complete and total wuss is no excuse for lacking the aforementioned attributes. Maybe its the fear of being maimed or they just lack the testesterone that comes with male parts. Either way, (precious wimps) it does not hurt to wear the pants in your relationship from time to time....comprendéz?
4. Pompous Paul
Every man has his pride and that comes with the territory. However, it is a whole different ball game when the pride extends to dealing with members of the fairer sex. They expect the women to approach and flirt with them. Anyway, it is all fun and games until the egocentric moron decides to be broke and expects to be treated like the queen he is. Women love that, love it!
Every man has his pride and that comes with the territory. However, it is a whole different ball game when the pride extends to dealing with members of the fairer sex. They expect the women to approach and flirt with them. Anyway, it is all fun and games until the egocentric moron decides to be broke and expects to be treated like the queen he is. Women love that, love it!
5. Girlfriend Greg
Ever heard of a chronic bufoon? Well, I define this person as being a part of clique dates (where they prefer wine because beer apparently tastes like porridge) and sundry. To these sorry excuses of the male species, being friendzoned comes as naturally as a teenage wet dream. Ever had a moment where you high-five a girl buddy after a very "funny" remark during a conversation? Kindly take a moment to re-think your life choices lest you find yourself in a closet you may not want to come out of.
Ever heard of a chronic bufoon? Well, I define this person as being a part of clique dates (where they prefer wine because beer apparently tastes like porridge) and sundry. To these sorry excuses of the male species, being friendzoned comes as naturally as a teenage wet dream. Ever had a moment where you high-five a girl buddy after a very "funny" remark during a conversation? Kindly take a moment to re-think your life choices lest you find yourself in a closet you may not want to come out of.
Whereas celebrities can get away with the metrosexual publicity mayhem, it is a long way downhill for all the common faggot "wannabees."
Unfortunately, 90% of the male population have one of the metrosexual traits. The other 10% are either in diapers or live in caves.
omg!!!! i know so many girlfriend gregs!!!the number of hi-fives iv received !!alas!!
ReplyDeleteIt is sadly just a matter of time for them :-D
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